hardbargain | (no subject)

[Its worrying to see Nyx so upset like this. He wants to take all the pain he can away. When Nyx Straddles him he doesn't push him away this time, instead he places his hands on the mans hips, a firm grip so he'd feel him there first. His hands trail up so they are mirroring what Nyx is doing and cupping his face in return. Stormy grey eyes seem to mellow as he gazes' into Nyx's blue with the forever speckles of violet from magic. Nyx is so stunning it hurts to look at him sometimes, like he's viewing something he shouldn't be allowed to see. This is one of those moments he just looks so painfully beautiful and an ungloved hand traces down the marks on his face with a tender affection. The kisses trail down until he takes Nyx's still scarred hand in his and kisses the back of it down to the ring finger and the source of it all.
I care about you Nyx, so much. I wanted to do things proper and ask you out properly. You deserve the world and I only have myself to offer you.

[Squall looks down at the hand in his own and once more kisses it before looking up at Nyx, gentle caressing his head, a hand touching one of his braids.] These are beautiful. Do you think I could have one someday? Or maybe...[That same hand traces the tattoo on his neck, then the one near his eye.] What would I need to do to earn one of my own?

[Ask him out properly. That's so painfully sweet. Nyx shakes his head gently.]

Don't need the world. Don't want it. [He leans in to nuzzle against Squall lightly, fingers pushing up into his hair.] Only you, geddah.

[His breathing hitches slightly when Squall asks about his tattoos, though, one hand coming up to catch his wrist. Nyx draws it up to brush his lips over the brunet's knuckles.]

Eventually... some of them. [Squall doesn't need to have the long straight lines on his throat. Nyx needs him not to be that stupid.]

[The way Nyx can be so tender with him in these moments and so hot in the next is just one of the reasons Squall cares about him so much. Every day with Nyx is like a fun rollercoaster of emotions and though sometimes Nyx can be stubborn, it's still a really fun ride.]

You already have me, Nyx. [That kiss to his hand has him pausing momentarily to just look at Nyx, at the way those eyes always look at him with a glint of mischievousness but can be so powerful with just a glance. Stormy eyes trail down to his lips and he leans forward to capture them against his own.] I'll take any mark you think I deserve, I want to be yours. I want to help you preserve your memories and traditions.

[That he accepts that limitation so easily, without argument, and turns it around into being something for Nyx, something he needs to earn to be like him, like his people only tugs harder at his heartstrings.]

Thank you.

[His voice is thick, choked with emotions he should probably actually explain to Squall but instead of doing something reasonable like that he simply brings his hands up to hold the brunet's face while he kisses him. There's a hint of desperation in the kiss but it doesn't drive Nyx to something harsh and hungry the way it may have a few weeks ago.]

[Yeah he should ask about the way Nyx is holding him. There is a bit of worry for Squall but he wouldn't be him if he didn't worry. Instead of saying anything he answered the kiss a bit slower, not matching Nyx's pass and trying to get him to breathe and enjoy the sweet and slow paced moment between them. His own lips part, letting Nyx take a bit more from the kiss as his own hands run through the short buzzed sides of his head, enjoying the almost velveteen texture there before letting himself get lost in Nyx's longer hair.

Squall shifts, the blanket at his waist shifting as well as he gets more comfortable against Nyx. It starts to fall off but Squall doesn't fix it. It's not like Nyx hasn't seen him naked before but he did wish they could talk a little more before this. Oh well, if this is what helped Nyx more he wasn't going to push him away. He does however pull back from the kiss for a moment.] You're beautiful to me Nyx, all of you, even the pieces I haven't found yet. I care about all that makes you who you are.

[Nyx accepts the slower pace surprisingly easily, content so long as Squall's hands remain on him, lips against his, warm and soothing. Enough that he lets his lips move from Squall's to his cheek and down to his neck.]

You're so sweet to me, geddah... [Murmured against his skin, hands smoothing down his shoulders, letting his fingers roam over his arms and torso as the brunette speaks.]

Tell me you love me later. [One hand shifts to drag his blunt nails lightly down along Squall's side and Nyx takes that moment to roll his hips down against the other's lap as well.] Right now just fuck me. Please.

[Those kisses feel so nice on his bare skin and for once he's glad he doesn't really get bothered by the cold. His whole back is exposed save for the warmth he's getting from Nyx as he straddles him, nude still save for the blanket falling off his hips.]

Geddah...one day tell me what it means, please? [Squall's voice comes out a bit raspy, enjoying the kisses and gentle touches from his lover. His eyes close for a moment, long lashes touching his cheek as he arches into Nyx, meeting his roll of hips with his own nude one.]

N-nyx...why can I just tell you now? [Stormy eyes open and he leans in, leaving a kiss on Nyx's neck before he reluctantly moves to reach for a bottle of lube he'd hidden by the bottom of the couch.] I want to tell you how much I love you, why don't you strip and I'll touch you while I tell you all the ways I love you?

[ His breathing is a little harder than it should be, emotions still high and Squall seems bound and determined not to let him lose himself in the physicality of what they have between them, insistent instead on doting on him. Gentle and sweet and so many things Nyx has never had before, has convinced himself he doesn't deserve anymore. It does nothing to quiet the rush of emotions but he also doesn't have it in himself to deny the younger man when he is so prepared to bare his heart to him.

He can only hope that he doesn't damage it as much as his own has been. ]

O-okay. [ His voice is tight but he nods, crushing one more kiss to his lips before he shuffles off of Squall's lap. He's barely dressed as is, having been puttering around his apartment. A tee and track pants, both easy enough to toss onto the coffee table next to those cookies.

When he returns to Squall's lap though he faces away from him, still straddling him but with his back pressed to Squall's chest so he can lay his head back on the other's shoulder. If he has to feel Squall inside him, around him, listen to him speak so sweetly, and fall into those stormy eyes he's not sure he'll be able to withstand the intensity of it all. ]

[There is a hint of disappointment in his face when Nyx turns away from him. Squall wants to see his face, to remember every wrinkle in his face as they kiss. Squall wants to see him come undone like's he's seen before but now it means more, now they are together properly. How can he be a good boyfriend if Nyx won't look at him?

Even though he's a little sad he doesn't let it show in his voice or his gestures. Nyx needs him, he needs a support and that's what Squall is going to focus on. Once Nyx is settled against him he makes sure to let Nyx know how much he cares about him. His arms wrap around Nyx's waist, holding him tightly and securely as he arches his neck a bit to kiss at Nyx's shoulder. There are still faint marks on his shoulder that was injured and Squall makes a point to shower affection there first.]

It's almost unfair how beautiful you are. What am I supposed to do with you Nyx? [the words are spoken softly, pressed up against his ear as he continues to hold him and pepper his once injured shoulder in loving sweet butterfly kisses.] I guess I just have to kiss every part of you I love.

Edited 2022-12-19 17:25 (UTC)

[They're of a similar enough height that the slight difference of Nyx sitting in Squall's lap makes them dead even. So when Squall begins to kiss at his shoulder, making his skin tingle and prickle with warmth and magic, he's able to lean his head back onto Squall's opposite shoulder, catching his eye briefly in a sidelong glance. His scarred hand comes up to reach back and sink his fingers in that lush mane of hair.

A low groan, pleased and encouraging escapes him at that promise of kisses and Nyx abruptly turns his head to pull Squall forward just enough to kiss him properly. He has to strain backwards just a little but it's very much worth it for the wet heat of his mouth and the inevitable chill of his lips when the magic sparks between them.]

Every part? [Teased breathlessly against his lips but Nyx pushes for another demanding kiss.]

[The kiss is just what he needed and with that hand in his hair he can't help but let out a low moan into the kiss. His cock twitching as it's pressed up against Nyx's round ass in his lap. His own hands go lower, wrapping around Nyx's cock and giving him some slow strokes in tandem to the speed of their kisses.]

Every part...[Squall kisses back, angling them a bit better so that Nyx doesn't have to stretch so much to kiss him, twisting him a little in his lap.

The kisses get a bit more feverish, a bit more wanton and despite his efforts he can't hold back the magic that wants to spill forth whenever Nyx is around. It's as if Nyx draws magic from him whenever they kiss and unlike the coldness he usually gives this time there is a slight heat. He's been practicing his fire magic with Genesis and with how Nyx makes him lose control it's that magic that comes out. A heat in his hands around Nyx's dick, warm lips, his tongue almost too hot.]

[ Squall's usual chill is delightful, a sharp sort of contrast to Nyx's ever-present heat. But today the brunet answers heat with heat and Nyx melts instantly into the warmth, arching and pressing into him like a cat rolling in a sun spot. The slight shift so the angle's less strained only makes it that much easier to do that.

When Squall's hand finds its way to his cock Nyx's body responds so eagerly to his touch, unsure if he wants to arch up into the contact or back into the kiss more. It makes the moan muffled against his lips that much needier. Nyx lets one hand reach up to sink into that thick, soft mane.]

Vilg [A soft exhale, already more breathless than usual, emotions still too close to the surface and, much as he might want to bury them again, likely to stay that way until Squall has said his piece. Again and again.]

[He'd been training in heat and now that he felt he had a better grasp on it he was using it. Sure he wasn't a pro like he was with fire but it was enough that he could handle a little bit of heat and the way Nyx reacted to it so positively had him silently confirming that he'd use it more and more.

Nyx practically squirming against him is one of Squall's favorite things. He lets his hand around Nyx's cock go just as agonizingly slow. The warm touch is enough sensation that he can take it this slow. He wants Nyx to come undone entirely.]

I love you, Nyx [He kisses him against, missing his lips on purpose and getting he scruff of his chine with heated kisses.] I love you [He repeats those three words once more as he trails his kisses down. Over and over he says those three words until his lips are on Nyx's shoulder]

[Part of him wants to protest, to tell him to shut up, that he can't take it. Hearing those words over and again. So many people he's loved, that have loved him, gone. Destroyed in the worst ways, not just dead but broken. He doesn't want that to happen to Squall and it feels like every time he says those words he's just tempting fate closer and closer.

Which is why the next gasp is more choked than it should be, emotion tightening his throat even as he squirms with pleasure. He turns his head, nuzzling his temple against the top of Squall's head as his lion trails kisses along his shoulder.]

E zicd fyhd du gaab oui cyva, geddah. [Words murmured into his hair, voice wavering. Fear and loss and love all twisted up in his chest in ways that he has done his damnedest not to think about since he'd gotten here. Since he'd-]

Stay with me.

I'm not going anywhere, Nyx. I'm here, I'm with you.

[Squall can see the worry, the fear, the loss in the way Nyx almost seems to tense up and he leans ever more into that touch, nudging him and then taking those lips once more against his. He will kiss every fear out of Nyx's body if he has to. He's been there since he first arrived, watched him close off and then start to open up to him. He's watched him recover and has only found him more and more beautiful, someone squall can easily and truly say he loves. It's still so strange to think he'd find anyone whose affections he cherished so deeply as his own for Cloud's and yet if Nyx disappeared on him right now he doesn't think he'd ever recover.]

I love you, Nyx...I love you

[Once more he breaks the kiss each time for more love, more affirmations of his feelings. His warm hands still jerking off Nyx's dick. He's so slow in how he moves his hands, no urgency but rather a slow pace of adoration to tease him into pleasure ] I love your lips, I love the way you call me geddah. Everytime you hold me I feel like I'm home. [Each word gets it's own jerk of his hands, some punctuated by a bit of extra heat in his lips.]

[It's a tangled mess of feelings, his name on Squall's lips, all these soft declarations, the steady heat of his hands and lips. Nyx squirms, grinding down against Squall, bucking up into his hands and when he finally cums it's with a sound that cannot be called anything other than a sob. Hands clinging desperately to Squall as he jerks in his lap.

Carefully he lets himself shift, sitting sideways over the other man's lap, curling up against his chest, small and uncertain in ways he doesn't let himself be. Much as he tries to fight it, though, the physical release drags him under, all but demands an emotional one to accompany it and Squall will feel hot tears dripping down onto his shoulder between ragged breaths. One word desperate and hopeful on his lips before he collapses entirely, not sobbing but crying steadily, quietly letting himself mourn another home lost.]

Home?

[There is so much still unsaid, so much more that Squall wishes he could find words to explain this feeling he has for Nyx and how this man appeared in his life one day and changed it in a way no other has. He wouldn't change any moment he's spent with Nyx and while that thought would have scared him it is comforting with him.

When Nyx comes it isn't long after that Squall feels his own release coming too but he doesn't. Those tears stop him and he is quick to wrap his arms around him, holding him tightly at first.]

Ssshhh....shhhhh...you're okay Nyx...you're okay. I'm right here.

[He isn't trying to prevent the tears, if anything he thinks they might be good for him but he wants him to know he's safe like this. Eventually he shifts so that he too is laying on his side and they can be facing each other on the couch. He runs his hands through Nyx's loose hair, ignoring the braids for now and smiles at him.]

Yes, home. You make me feel like Home Nyx. I feel safe with you...like here right now is where I belong.

[He doesn't argue as Squall draws him down onto the couch, reaches out blindly to drag that blanket over them both, presses in against Squall's chest as he cries. There are so many things that he hasn't explained, that must be confusing for Squall. Things he hasn't dared to touch, as though if he doesn't acknowledge them they might somehow no longer be true.

Tears still trek down his cheeks but he leans in a little to press a trembling kiss to Squall's lips, then bowing his head to lean his brow against those warm, soothing lips.]

I tried- I know how that is. When someone feels like home. [His shoulders hitch, hands holding tighter to Squall, the grip hard enough that he might have bruises on one arm by the time they detangle themselves.] And every time they-

I can't lose that again. I can't lose you.

[It's really the first time that Squall notices how Nyx can be so much smaller then him. He always carries himself so confidently that now as they lay int he couch he can see their differences. Nyx isn't tiny but his hands aren't as big as Squall's and the curves of his body seem to fit in line with Squall's own. It's a somber beauty that Nyx is showing him, so full of sadness and fear and yet squall can't seem to look away from him.]

You won't lose me. I can't promise much but I know I'll fight through space and time to stay at your side. [It's the one thing he can promise, a promise to try to stay. this world has too many unknowns for anything else.

Squall kisses his temple a few times, his hands running through Nyx's hair as he starts to comfort him with gentle pets.] I want to be at your side as long as we have. I love you too much to lose you too.

[Squall's fingers slide back through his hair and Nyx's breath hitches softly, trying to slow the flow of tears, to lessen it so he can at least answer his lover. He curls closer against him, presses in as tight as he can, silvered eyes meeting steel and his lips are still quivering with barely restrained sobs when he presses another kiss to his lips.]

I never told- [Another unsteady breath but he tries to hold Squall's gaze, to not hide from him or that vow he makes. Something he might have tried to laugh off or lessen the impact of if he weren't already so upset. He wants to make it clear, here and now, that he's not trying to hide from that. Not... not now.] Anyone... I didn't tell anyone I loved how much they meant to me.

I don't want to miss that chance again. Muja oui, geddah. I love you, too.

[The tears are still something he doesn't like seeing on Nyx, even if he has to admit that even crying his boyfriend looks so heartbreakingly handsome. He is at least really happy that Nyx is opening up to him and doesn't shy away from how close he gets or any kisses, eagerly giving it right back to him in hopes to make him feel comfortable.]

If it's too hard to say it's oka---[Squall pauses when Nyx says he loves him. It's the first time he's ever said that to his knowledge. He isn't sure if he's said it in galahdian before but with how much it took to say he thinks it's the fist time in general. His own heart beats faster and he kisses Nyx again, his hands securely at his bare back.]

You make me so happy, my Nyx. My home.

[Again he repeats those words and kisses Nyx once more before his own eyes begin to get watery.] I love you.

[Of course Squall tries to make it okay, even now, even like this. Which only makes it more important that he find those words, finally give voice to them. Things he should have said to friends, to family, to lovers. If he'd said such things to the people he cared about, if any of them had been honest about their emotions maybe... Maybe there wouldn't have been so many willing to turn their backs on each other.

An unfair burden to put upon himself, or anyone, but a thought that comes whether he wants it to or not.]

Home- [Another strangled murmur of that one word that means so much. Nyx doesn't have more words in him, not when those he has said cost so much. Instead he tucks his head into the crook of Squall's shoulder, leaning down just enough to press his lips over his lover's heart. The closest he'd ever allowed himself to come to those words before, with Pelna, with Libertus. The people that had meant so much to him.

People he hasn't truly let himself grieve here, too busy pushing and pushing to stay busy, to do more, to not stop and allow himself the time to really think about how much pain came with all that had happened.]

'm sorry. [Mumbled against his skin as Nyx gradually succumbs to sobs once again.]

[This is painful, for having wanted this to be a nice time all it's been has been a lot of pain for Nyx and while squall loves how open he is being he also doesn't want to cause him any more pain. He runs his hands through Nyx's hair, kissing his cheek in a way to get him to calm down.]

Shh...shhh it's okay. We are okay Nyx. Just be with me right now, you don't have to say anything okay? [One of his hands drifts to Nyx's lower back and rubs him tenderly there.]

Take a few deep breaths and let it out okay? We have time to talk later when you are more okay. I really appreciate what you've said already to me.

[It is painful, yes. But the pain has been there this entire time, no matter how hard Nyx has tried to bury it, to not think about it. He's never felt safe enough to let himself really feel it, process it. He lost so much in so short a time how could he even begin to unpack that when they were here in another world where no one knew what they were up against or how safe they really were?

He curls in against Squall, arms wrapping tight around him in return. Eventually, later, maybe hours later, they'll have time to talk about it. Maybe Nyx can finally acknowledge how deep that betrayal cut. All of which means acknowledging that, whatever else is happening here, even if it is a simulation, here in Squall's arms... he is safe.]




	"It's Ulric. Make it good." UN: CuriousCoeurl